The start of a new ME!!

I have been overweight my entire life. Growing up my family told me "Your beautiful no matter how you look." I followed in my parents' footsteps waiting what ever I wanted thinking more was always better. The bigger the portion the more for your money, the better the deal, etc. I am 5'4" I currently weigh 240 lbs. and have a BMI of over 40. I am not at all proud of myself. My weight causes me problems both physically & emotionally. I refuse to be like my Mom and complain about my problems without doing something about it! I just started using a website called loseit.com. It is going to help me track my calories & exercise. a friend of mine, Allison, that I met on APA (American Pregnancy Association) has agreed to help hold me accountable. My husband is behind me 100% and this time I will succeed because I am not dieting I am changing my life! I plan on using my blog as well by posting my progress & sharing some of the food I eat. I will also write about times when I make a bad choice. So please follow me on my latest food journey as I discover how to enjoy food while making my life better!

the Start of JulieBerry's

So I decided it is time to get my buisness going. I love baking, I need money, let's do it!

Here is the current Menu!

JulieBerry’s Confections
Julia Zurbrugg   Phone: 330-248-3173   E-mail: jrzurbrugg@live.com Orders must be placed at least one week in advance. Large orders will need more time.
Cheesecakes: $18.00 each	Cupcakes: $5.50 ½ doz. $10.00 /doz.
White Chocolate Raspberry	Apple Streusel
Key Lime Coconut	Triple Chocolate
Chocolate/Vanilla Bean Marble	Chocolate Peanut Butter
Classic New York	Peanut Butter & Jelly
	Strawberries & Cream
	Blueberries & Cream Maple Pumpkin Lemon Blueberry
Candy	Cookies:
*Milk, Dark or White Chocolate dipped pretzel rods 6 for $3.00 or 12 for $5.50	$5.50/doz. Mix & match by the ½ doz. Discount for 5 dozens or more
*Milk, Dark , or White Chocolate covered                           pretzels $5.00 ½ pound	Snicker doodles Peanut blossoms
*Butter Brickle Toffee $9.00 ½ lb.	Raspberry Thumbprints
*Hard Tack (broken glass) $7.00 ½ lb. Flavors: Cinnamon, Cherry, Grape, Lemon, Orange, Apple or Mixed	Pumpkin with or without nuts and/or raisins Glazed or unglazed Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip
*Spiced Candied Nuts Walnuts $5.00/bag Almonds $6.00/bag Pecans $7.00/bag Cashews $8.00/bag	Oatmeal Raisin Butter Drop Sugar cookies
Pies: $10.00 each	Other Desserts
Peanut Butter Crème	Baklava $15.00 ½ sheet $28.00 Full sheet
Chocolate Peanut Butter	Monkey Bread (sweet pull apart bread)
Dutch Apple	$8.00 ½  $15.00 whole
	Banana Bread $6.00/loaf
	Zucchini Bread $6.00/loaf

Kids, Apples & Parties!!

Since the last time I wrote my baby Faelyn turned 1!! She still isn't walking and only about a week ago did she finally say Mama. The Dr. isn't too concerned & neither am I. She points to what she wants, and today she even brought her cup to me when it was empty! She is becoming very independent, but still loves her Mommy. I don't get to cuddle with her anymore because she is always on the go, but she does give hugs now and there is nothing sweeter than that!!

Kiara is doing well, but she is still having difficulty paying attention. We may have to see about changing her ADHD medicine. She has been doing a lot of reading lately and does very well in school. Serenity has had all green since the first day of school. I still have to come up with a reward for her. They just did their first cheer camp & got to cheer at the Salem High school football game last Friday. they had fun, but it was cold & it rained. They both have been helping me more willingly around the house and are both joining 4-H in the morning!



Faelyn all ready for bed with her new blanket, her silky, Binky, seahorse & giraffes.

 I have been keeping busy between taking care of my family & house, writing for Examiner.com, and I made a blanket for Faelyn. She loves it! I also have fabric to make one for Ben & I to cuddle with on the couch.

Last Saturday I went apple picking at Stahl's Farm Market, with my best friend Aimee (Mama Homesteader), Kiara & Serenity came with us while Faelyn stayed home with Daddy. I picked 1/2 a bushel while the girls helped their Aunt Aimee pick 3 bushels! She is just mildly obsessed with canning (go look at her blog if you don't believe me!). We were a bit rushed & it was cold & rainy but it was worth it! So far I have made baked apples & pork with apples. This Sunday we are going to go pick another 1/2 bushel & pick out pumpkins as well.



Mama Homesteader vs. the Giant Gala!!




Kiara & Serenity's favorite part of apple picking!



I am so in a party mode right now! Tomorrow night I am hosting a Tealightful Treasure tea party. I have 11 people coming!! I am so excited. I am making lemon cupcakes that are filled with blueberry lemon curd, frosted with a vanilla butter cream & topped with a candied lemon peel (yes that I made from scratch), pumpkin cupcakes filled with a ginger cream, frosted with a maple cream cheese frosting & topped with a candied pecan (again homemade & now that I know how easy it is I will never buy them from the fair again!). I also made bite size baklava. I am hoping to make a caramel apple pastry, but I am not sure if I will have time. On November 4th I am having a Pampered Chef party for my good friend Jessi Bales (Becoming Molly Mormon). Then on November 13th Ben turns 30. So I am throwing him a big party on the 19th to celebrate. I just hope all his friends show up this time. He deserves to have a celebration in his honor. He started working at Alliance Castings on August 22nd. He works nights which is working out great for the family. I am getting up earlier to spend some time with him in the mornings, and it's working out well. It is so nice to actually have money to pay the bills & some left over for spending! Well that's about it for now.

Out of sight, but not out of mind

This summer has seen me very busy!! Thanks to our less than stellar financial circumstances, and the in ability of me being able to get a job due to lack of transportation I started couponing. No I am not "Extreme couponing" Sure I like getting stuff for free or really cheap, but there is no need for me to have a wall of paper products or scores of cleaning supplies that even my children wouldn't be able to use up in their lifetime. We do have a stockpile of cereal and some canned goods. Our freezer is full, but every item I bought I will use. The first rule of couponing is "just because you have a coupon for it doesn't mean you need it." I won't just buy a product because I have a coupon for it, and I still compare prices of all similar items. Yes I have used coupons to try new products, and to buy some splurges for my family. Between using coupons, shopping the ads, and going to different stores I save roughly $200 a month.

Thankfully my husband now has a new job. He is no longer a shift manager at a fast food joint, he is now a steel worker. This is a job he has done before, it's a pretty dirty job, but he takes pride in his work and is much happier. He works nights now, but I have my kitties to keep me company! Honestly I have adjusted better than I thought I would!

Our Baby Faelyn is now a year old! She has 8 teeth and is practicing standing on her own. She communicates more everyday!! I still think her first word is going to be "Doggie" Kiara, our oldest, is now in 2nd grade. We have been having some issues with her taking her Adderall for ADHD and she tends to not bring papers home from school. We are trying to be patient with her and teach her the importance of her medicine. Serenity started Kindergarten and just loves it! So far she has gotten green everyday which means she is staying out of trouble!

In June we took our first family vacation to Texas! The girls flew on a plane for the first time and they all did great! We stayed with my in-laws and went to the Robb family reunion. It was all so much fun! There is a big part of me that wants to move down there because Ben's family actually DOES things like play cards and have cookouts. My Mom isn't treating her depression so that among other reasons we don't get together with my family except for major holidays.

My best friend Mama Homesteader gave me a dehydrator so I have been playing around with that. So far I have dehydrated banana chips and blueberries. Next I am going to try strawberries then my basil and thyme. Plus apple picking season is here, so those too are on my list!

My husband still issues me cooking challenges which I greatly look forward to! My last one was Daube de Beouf Provencal (French beef stew) It didn't come out perfect, but the beef was so tender and the wine gave the sauce a delicious flavor. My next challenge it to make leg of lamb Mediterranean style! I will be posting all about it!

Time Flys!

It's the first of May already. Where does time go? Faelyn is 7 months old, She sits on her own, and scoots on her butt to get across the room. She made it the farthest ever tonight scooting off her playmat and over to the end table where I keep a basket and started pulling things out inspecting them! She doesn't use her mouth to explore as much as the other girls did. She still isn't bablling but she has 2 bottom teeth that came in at the same time! Other things have happened. I turned 31 on the 22nd and had a wonderful ham dinner that I made with my girls , husband, parents and Aunt. Complete with a delicious brownie cheesecake and Aunt Brenda baked me a chocolate birthday cake. Sure it wasn't fancy, but it's the first time in years I had an honest to goodness birthday cake! Kiara just lost her 5th tooth, which she was very excited about and Sassafrass just got spade this week and is recovering nicely.

In other news the countdown to vacation continues with 52 days left! I am both excited and nervous. I'm not a fan of flying, and this time I'll be doing it with kids. Ben falls asleep on the plane, so I will pretty much be on my own. It shouldn't be too bad though I will take activity books, and snacks for all 3 and Ben has movies on his PSP so that should also help. It may sound weird, but I love all the planning that will go into the trip. It makes me feel important I guess!

I have renewed my search for freebies in the mail, I used to do it a lot hten I stopped, but I started again. I mean sure shampoo smaples are small, but even if I can only use it once that is less that I have to buy! Not to mention if I get enough those will fit great into the suitcases!! I have also started couponing. I have always used coupons, but now I am going all out. I am planning on stopping to get several papers tommorrow before church.

Yep I said church. I know I used to be against organized religion, but I ahve found a church that doesn't make me feel "stuffy" They are very family oriented and even have a children's worship. I am in the process of planning to be baptised so that I can become a memeber of the Emanuel Luthern Church. The girls love going, and even Faelyn is very well behaved!

I am thinking this blog will be more about the going ons in my life more than anything. I have been using a lot of what I would have posted here for articles. And hey those artices gt me over $100! I have 2 articles in the works right now. Well  it's 2 am I need to see if I cna get some sleep since I want to be up at 8:30 to get things done before church.

A Day in the Life of Me

Yes this post isn't about food, but I feel that I need to explain what my life is like each day. For those who may not know me I am 30 years old (soon to be 31) and am a SAHM of 3 girls Kiara, who is 7 Serenity who will be 5 in June, and Faelyn who is 6 months. We also have a 6 month old puppy, Sassafras. We got the puppy becasue the girls have been begging for a dog for years and Ben really wanted a companion. She really is his buddy, though Faelyn might end up stealing her away when she grows up. Nothing makes that baby laugh like the dog! Ben does all her baths and walks her a fair amount of time but since he is so forgetful that job usually falls to me. Here is my usual schedule Monday-Thursday
6:45 first alarm I nurse the baby
7:15 I get out of bed get dressed and dress Faelyn make sure the girls are dressed
7:40 Get Kiara her medicine and have her pick out a granola bar or somethign for breakfast
8:00 Load the girls in the truck Take Serenity to school
8:45 Drop Kiara off and head home
9:00 Take Sassafras out for a walk
9:10 Feed Sassafras Make Faelyn a bottle
9:30 get Mommy breakfast check facebook
10:00 Get Ben up for work and play with Faelyn
10:30 fight off an anxiety attack
10:50 Wake Ben up again Nurse Faelyn
11:15 Lock dog in crate put Faelyn in carseat
11:20 leave to take Ben to work
11:30 head to Sebring toget Serenity from school
12:10pm Get home from getting Serenity
12:20 Make Faelyn a bottle
12:40 Take Sassafras out for a walk
1:00pm Make lunch for me feed Faelyn cereal
1:45 work on dishes
2:30 clean living room/play with Serenity & Faelyn & nurse Faelyn
3:15 Load girls in the truck to get Kiaira from school
3:40 Back home get Kiara & Serenity a snack
4:00pm Workout
4:30 Spend some time on the computer while the girls watch TV or play on the computer and Faelyn naps
5:00pm Nurse Faelyn
5:20 Do work around the house (varies day to day)
6:00pm Nurse Faelyn help Kiara with her homework and prep dinner
6:45 pack the girls in the truck to go get Ben from work
7:30 Get home make dinner, eat dinner, feed Faelyn
8:30 Tuck the girls in bed, make Faelyn a bottle & nurse, lay out their clothes for school
9:30 put Faelyn to bed
10:00pm Unwind by watching TV or reading or computer
10:45 spend a few minutes with Ben
11:30 Head to bed.
3:30am Wake up when Ben comes to bed talk with him a few minutes and nurse Faelyn

The only thing that changes in this schedule is if Ben isn't working 11-7 he works usually either 7am-4pmor 6pm-close. When he closes he drives himself. There is also at least once a week that I have to go to the store for groceries. Plus once a month I go to a food pantry on a Thursday evening. Sometimes Ben will tuck the girls in and he usually takes her out for her evening walk.
My household chores consist of:
washing & drying dishes
sweeping
dusting
picking up trash & toys and clothes
deciding on dinner
making dinner & lunch
general cleaning
folding and puttign away laundry
gathering trash
feeding the animals
Then of course taking care of the kids and any other projects around the house we come up with.
Is it bad, no not really. I am always super busy I write for 2 different websites and am a guide for ChaCha though I don't get to work very often. Wht makes it hard is my anxiety. I am constantly worried about what we are goign to do with the van what are we going to do if the truck brakes too, what if the kids get sick, what if Ben or I get really sick or hurt, how are we going to keep surviving on what Ben makes, how can I make more money, what if one of the pets die, what if the fish tank over flows, what if the hosue catches fire, what if, what if, what if! THAT is what makes my life hard the constant worry that doesn't go away. I have small panic attacks EVERY TIME I get in the truck or even the van when it was working. Why? Becasue I am afraid of being abandoned and stranded. I have a game plan I have a list of people I can call to come get me and the kids, but it doesn't stop my anxiety. I try different ways to deal with it. I challenge it to come on full force, I ignore it by engaging myself in a game, book or Tv show, I try to smoother it by cuddling with Ben or the baby or even having sex. I am limited on what I can take bcause of breastfeeding. I just called the doctor because it is getting to be more than I can handle again. The St. John's Wort I am taking does help, but I need more. I need for Ben to get a better paying job and to figure ut what is going on with the van so we know what to do with it. Whether we are going to fix it or junk it. I hope those of you who read this will get a glimpse into my life and understand what I go through and how each day is very taxing to me emotionally and becasue so physically.

So it's been awhile!

Yes it has been just over 6 months since I last made a post. The day after my last post I gave birth to my 3rd daughter Faelyn Rae she was born a little after 4pm on Monday September 13th, 2010 weighing in at 9lbs 8.3 ozs! Her delivery was a whirlwind. I delivered her at the Salem Hospital instead of Alliance becasue by the time I got to SCH 5 mintues from my hosue I was already 10 cm!

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Faelyn Rae Zurbrugg 6 months old

After I had her we went without our van from October 30th when it overheated on us until December 28th. When we finally got it back from the shop. Now we are without it again as it died on me last Friday when I was on my way to the store. We are still tryign to decide what we are going to do with it. I did apply for a merchandising job 2 weeks ago. It would have been great I would have only worked about 10 hours a week. Sadly I didn't get it. I am writing for the Examiner.com and Suite101.com so please look me up and read my articles. I will still be posting on here. I hope to someday get paid for blogging like this rather than just writing articles.